I need to start this post by saying how very grateful for my two little people I am! Father has given Christopher and I such wonderful gifts in Jonathan and Nora, and I thank him daily for them. I am a blessed mama for so many reasons, but this post is about my heart and life struggles in adjusting to life with two little people.
Going from zero kids to one is a BIG adjustment, but honestly, I think going from one to two has been even more difficult for me. Maybe it’s not like that for everyone, but so far that’s my experience. Obviously the transition from a childless couple to a family of three presents a whole array of changes, but most of them were fairly easily managed and expected (no dashing off to do something on a a whim or sleeping in on a Saturday). Adding a second baby isn’t just addition in the mathematical sense–it’s an exponential change.
Take diaper changing for instance. Of course two little bums are now diaper-clad and in need of regular changes. But changing Jonathan–which can be much like wrassling an alligator–has become more interesting because Nora can be wailing at the same time that J desperately needs a change and Jonathan is completely oblivious to how his antics only prolong her crying. Or little Nora will need a new diaper and helpful big brother will volunteer to get her a new one…or a dozen new diapers that end up strewn about the living room floor.
These complications to my highly structured and tightly controlled days are good for me. Yes, sometimes they make me want to cry (who would have thought that a messy house would make for tears?), but I know that they are ultimately good for my soul. I have failed in many small and big ways already in this first month of being a mother of two, but I am clinging to the cross of Christ and the promises of scripture which tell me that these things which are seen are temporary and that the things which are unseen are eternal. When Jonathan is disobedient and Nora just won’t sleep and my face (or the dishes or the laundry) hasn’t been washed in days and all I want is a nap, it can be VERY hard to remember that my hope isn’t in any of these things. I have been so grateful to Chris and friends who remind me of the truth and keep my eyes lifted up.
I love my kids.